When do you feel it?
When I am with my boys I am a mother…
My twins are 6 months old today! When I am with them everything seems perfect. When the four of us are together we are a regular picket fence family BUT, when I go to work…well, here’s the thing, I don’t always feel like a mother. Is that normal?
When I am deep in a project or doing one of my 3.5 hour call blitzes, I don’t think of the babies. I morph back into my old self…is that normal? Should I feel like a mother all the time or is it ok to feel like just me every now and then.
The other night I had the best time with 3 other twin mommies. We went out to dinner downtown and chatted for a couple hours- mostly about our babies but about other things too. I had so much fun and I felt like myself again even though conversation swirled around the fact that we all have children. I felt almost giddy as I mentally skipped back to my car and back to my house full of motherhood…so here’s an epiphany….perhaps being a mother and being “myself” are starting to merge into one…or perhaps I make zero sense because it’s been another sleepless night.
In other news…last count had me down 72 pounds….still holding out for the big 75!
LauraC said,
September 3, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I often feel like “just me” and it is great! I want my kids to be an addition to my life, not my entire life. I love my job and the fulfillment it gives me, so sometimes I completely forget about them.
(went through and read old entries, it took me a long time to accept that I was SUPER fit when I got pregnant and no way will I get back there. Just one size from my previous weight but it’s probably never going to happen. And it’s ok bc I have other priorities than working out all the time!)
Janete said,
September 4, 2008 at 6:13 pm
WHOOOHOOO 72 pounds you go girl!! it’s not gonna be very long before you hit 75!!
you know, it’s kinda funny, but even though i’ve had kids for almost 3 1/2 yrs, i still sometimes don’t see myself as a mom at all!! sometimes i still look at the kids and think…”I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY ARE MY KIDS!!” but most of the times, since i no longer work outside of the home and that i’m around my kids all too much (LOL) that i feel like my kids have become my life…unlike LauraC, where she wants her kids to be an addition! i think that that is healthy, that hasn’t really happened with me, i sometimes feel that i’ve lost “ME” and have become “mommy” instead. i guess that’s not bad, but i have to remember to keep doing things that i enjoy or have some time for myself.
i don’t think that it’s bad at all that sometimes when you are at work that you are ingrossed with your job and “forget” about the boys LOL! it’s normal and i think it’s totally fine
but i do agree with you, that as time goes on, your two roles will start to merge more and more!