Choosing friends
Have you ever wondered why you have the friends you have? Choosing friends is much like choosing a spouse, right? I met my husband 12+ years ago and he’s independent, confident, strong, funny, handsome, etc- an all around stellar pick. Every friend I had (up to about 3 years ago) has been nothing like him- I always chose needy, crazy, clingy, needy, down-on-their luck, baaaad, mis-behaving, crazy, strange people to be my friends. My mother and my (now) husband always warned me about the friends I made and they were almost always right- I’m a “fixer” (isn’t that what you said fellowtwinmom?) and a “helper” and it’s exhausting. I was taken advantage of, walked on, dumped on, and basically used by my friends for years and I’m not sure why I kept up the cycle. I had perfectly normal friends until I went to private school in 5th grade and now I have wonderful, insightful, delightful, confident, beautiful friends and I wonder why they want to be my friends…I feel so lucky it’s absurd.
I seem to have totally cut out my needy friends since the twins arrived- partly due to exhaustion on my part and partly due to the fact that I wasn’t helping them so they stopped calling! I love my new friends and I feel so much healthier about my relationships.
What are your friends like? Do you set yourself up for abuse and take it?
